The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
All generalizations are false.
The more people I meet, The more I like my dog.
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.
Rehab is for quitters.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
Save a tree: Eat a beaver.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car... 
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Wink, I'll do the rest.
I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight!
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
I took an IQ test and failed.
When there's a will, I wanna be in it!
OK, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
Assassins do it from behind
Learn from your parents' mistakes, use birth control!
Hard work has a future payoff, Laziness pays off now.
It's lonely at the top, but at least you eat better.
Love: two vowels, two consonants, two fools.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Save Water, take a bath with your neighbor's daughter.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
He who laughs last thinks slowly.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Don't Use w/o permission, ok?
HaTcH 2002 "Liger's Union"
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